Hypertension

I hate taking my blood pressure.

I'm fine with dentists. I'm fine with needles. I'm not fine with blood pressure monitors. Haven't been since I tried to donate blood in 2013, and wound up in the hospital for stage 3 hypertension.

Now it's ten years later, and there doesn't seem to be much left for me to complain about, blood-wise. I've lost about 100 pounds since then, and I'm able to keep my blood pressure under control with only a little medication. I've been checking my blood pressure every two-to-four weeks since then. I have a decade of experience taking my blood pressure, and my doctor is generally happy with my readings.

I still get anxious every time I have to take it. My heart rate jumps up, sometimes as high as 140 BPM or more.

I have spoken to my doctor about this. He's told me that there's nothing to worry about, that he doesn't think that my blood pressure will increase again without a change in my lifestyle, and that, even if it does, simply adjusting my medication should be enough to treat it. I trust my doctor. And I still get anxious every time I take my blood pressure.

I'm not writing this to fish for sympathy, by the way. I just think it's worth acknowledging the psychological issue here--the difference between what I know and what I fear. Fear doesn't think--it feels. Just because your brain knows that there's nothing to worry about doesn't mean that your heart cares.

I know that nothing will happen when I take my blood pressure.

And I still hate taking my blood pressure.

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